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Foo-foo the First

           Standforth,Yokel,Burns,andHodge—showyouradornments!"

           

           Thesestoodupandstrippedawaysomeoftheirrags,exposingtheirbacks,criss-crossedwithropyoldweltsleftbythelash;oneturneduphishairandshowedtheplacewherealeftearhadoncebeen;anothershowedabranduponhisshoulder—theletterV—andamutilatedear;thethirdsaid—

           "IamYokel,onceafarmerandprosperous,withlovingwifeandkids—nowamIsomewhatdifferentinestateandcalling;andthewifeandkidsaregone;mayhaptheyareinheaven,mayhapin—intheotherplace—butthekindlyGodbethanked,theybidenomoreinEngland!Mygoodoldblamelessmotherstrovetoearnbreadbynursingthesick;oneofthesedied,thedoctorsknewnothow,somymotherwasburntforawitch,whilstmybabeslookedonandwailed.Englishlaw!—up,all,withyourcups!—nowalltogetherandwithacheer!—drinktothemercifulEnglishlawthatdeliveredherfromtheEnglishhell!Thankyou,mates,oneandall.Ibegged,fromhousetohouse—Iandthewife—bearingwithusthehungrykids—butitwascrimetobehungryinEngland—sotheystrippedusandlashedusthroughthreetowns.DrinkyeallagaintothemercifulEnglishlaw!—foritslashdrankdeepofmyMary’sbloodanditsblesseddeliverancecamequick.Sheliesthere,inthepotter’sfield,safefromallharms.Andthekids—well,whilstthelawlashedmefromtowntotown,theystarved.Drink,lads—onlyadrop—adroptothepoorkids,thatneverdidanycreatureharm.

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