Улисс

           ,withourownMetropolitanpolice,guardiansofourhomes,thepluckiestladsandthefinestbodyofmen,asphysique,intheserviceofoursovereign.

           AVOICE:Turncoat!UptheBoers!WhobooedJoeChamberlain?

           BLOOM:(Hishandontheshoulderofthefirstwatch.)MyolddadtoowasaJ.P.I’masstaunchaBritisherasyouare,sir.IfoughtwiththecoloursforkingandcountryintheabsentmindedwarundergeneralGoughintheparkandwasdisabledatSpionKopandBloemfontein,wasmentionedindispatches.Ididallawhitemancould.(Withquietfeeling.)JimBludso.Holdhernozzleagainthebank.

           FIRSTWATCH:Professionortrade.

           BLOOM:Well,Ifollowaliteraryoccupation,author-journalist.InfactwearejustbringingoutacollectionofprizestoriesofwhichIamtheinventor,somethingthatisanentirelynewdeparture.IamconnectedwiththeBritishandIrishpress.Ifyouringup...

           (MylesCrawfordstridesoutjerkily,aquillbetweenhisteeth.Hisscarletbeakblazeswithintheaureoleofhisstrawhat.HedanglesahankofSpanishonionsinonehandandholdswiththeotherhandatelephonereceivernozzletohisear.)

           MYLESCRAWFORD:(Hiscock’swattleswagging.)Hello,seventyseveneightfour.Hello.Freeman’sUrinalandWeeklyArsewipehere.ParalyseEurope.Youwhich?Bluebags?Whowrites?IsitBloom?

           (MrPhilipBeaufoy,palefaced,standsinthewitnessbox,inaccuratemorningdress,outbreastpocketwithpeakofhandkerchiefshowing,creasedlavendertrousersandpatentboots.HecarriesalargeportfoliolabelledMatcham’sMasterstrokes.)

           BEAUFOY:(Drawls.)No,youaren’t.