Улисс

           Valuinghimselfnotalittleuponhiselegance,beingindeedapropermanofperson,thistalkativenowappliedhimselftohisdresswithanimadversionsofsomeheatuponthesuddenwhimsyoftheatmosphericswhilethecompanylavishedtheirencomiumsupontheprojecthehadadvanced.Theyounggentleman,hisfriend,overjoyedashewasatapassagethathadlatebefallenhim,couldnotforbeartotellithisnearestneighbour.MrMulligan,nowperceivingthetable,askedforwhomwerethoseloavesandfishesand,seeingthestranger,hemadehimacivilbowandsaid,Pray,sir,wasyouinneedofanyprofessionalassistancewecouldgive?Who,uponhisoffer,thankedhimveryheartily,thoughpreservinghisproperdistance,andrepliedthathewascomethereaboutalady,nowaninmateofHorne’shouse,thatwasinaninterestingcondition,poorbody,fromwoman’swoe(andherehefetchedadeepsigh)toknowifherhappinesshadyettakenplace.MrDixon,toturnthetable,tookontoaskofMrMulliganhimselfwhetherhisincipientventripotence,uponwhichheralliedhim,betokenedanovoblasticgestationintheprostaticutricleormalewomborwasdue,aswiththenotedphysician,MrAustinMeldon,toawolfinthestomach.ForanswerMrMulligan,inagaleoflaughterathissmalls,smotehimselfbravelybelowthediaphragm,exclaimingwithanadmirabledrollmimicofMotherGrogan(themostexcellentcreatureofhersexthough’tispityshe’satrollop):There’sabellythatneverboreabastard.