Мхи старой усадьбы
Egotism; or, The Bosom Serpent
"
"No,no!"mutteredRodericktohimself,asheshookhishead,andpressedhishandswithamoreconvulsiveforceuponhisbreast,"Ifeelhimstill.Itgnawsme!Itgnawsme!"
Fromthistimethemiserablesuffererceasedtoshuntheworld,butrathersolicitedandforcedhimselfuponthenoticeofacquaintancesandstrangers.Itwaspartlytheresultofdesperationonfindingthatthecavernofhisownbosomhadnotproveddeepanddarkenoughtohidethesecret,evenwhileitwassosecureafortressfortheloathsomefiendthathadcreptintoit.Butstillmore,thiscravingfornotorietywasasymptomoftheintensemorbidnesswhichnowpervadedhisnature.Allpersonschronicallydiseasedareegotists,whetherthediseasebeofthemindorbody;whetheritbesin,sorrow,ormerelythemoretolerablecalamityofsomeendlesspain,ormischiefamongthecordsofmortallife.Suchindividualsaremadeacutelyconsciousofaself,bythetortureinwhichitdwells.Self,therefore,growstobesoprominentanobjectwiththemthattheycannotbutpresentittothefaceofeverycasualpasser-by.Thereisapleasure—perhapsthegreatestofwhichthesuffererissusceptible—indisplayingthewastedorulceratedlimb,orthecancerinthebreast;andthefoulerthecrime,withsomuchthemoredifficultydoestheperpetratorpreventitfromthrustingupitssnake-likeheadtofrightentheworld;foritisthatcancer,orthatcrime,whichconstitutestheirrespectiveindividuality.
