Риф, или Там, где разбивается счастье

IX

           Therewereoccasionswhenhereallydidlookatthingsasshedid;butforreasonssodifferentastomakethedistancebetweenthemallthegreater.Life,toMr.Leath,waslikeawalkthroughacarefullyclassifiedmuseum,where,inmomentsofdoubt,onehadonlytolookatthenumberandrefertoone’scatalogue;tohiswifeitwaslikegropingaboutinahugedarklumber-roomwheretheexploringrayofcuriositylitupnowsomeshapeofbreathingbeautyandnowamummy’sgrin.

           Inthefirstbewildermentofhernewstatethesediscoverieshadhadtheeffectofdroppinganotherlayerofgauzebetweenherselfandreality.Sheseemedfartherthaneverremovedfromthestrongjoysandpangsforwhichshefeltherselfmade.Shedidnotadoptherhusband’sviews,butinsensiblyshebegantolivehislife.Shetriedtothrowacompensatingardourintothesecretexcursionsofherspirit,andthustheoldviciousdistinctionbetweenromanceandrealitywasre-establishedforher,andsheresignedherselfagaintothebeliefthat“reallife”wasneitherrealnoralive.

           Thebirthofherlittlegirlsweptawaythisdelusion.Atlastshefeltherselfincontactwiththeactualbusinessofliving:buteventhisimpressionwasnotenduring.

           Everythingbuttheirreduciblecrudefactofchild-bearingassumed,intheLeathhousehold,thesameghostlytingeofunreality.Herhusband,atthetime,wasallthathisownidealofahusbandrequired

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