Спрут: Калифорнийская история
Chapter IX
Alongingtogivethebestthatwasinhimtothememoryofher,tobestrongandnoblebecauseofher,toreshapehispurposeless,half-wastedlifewithhernobilityandpurityandgentlenessforhisinspirationleapedallatoncewithinhim,leapedandstoodfirm,hardeningtoaresolvestrongerthananyhehadeverknown.
Foraninstanthetoldhimselfthatthesuddennessofthisnewemotionmustbeevidenceofitsinsincerity.Hewasperfectlywellawarethathisimpulseswereabruptandofshortduration.Butheknewthatthiswasnotsudden.Withoutrealisingit,hehadbeenfromthefirstdrawntoHilma,andallthroughtheselastterribledays,sincethetimehehadseenheratLosMuertos,justafterthebattleattheditch,shehadobtrudedcontinuallyuponhisthoughts.Thesightofherto-day,morebeautifulthanever,quiet,strong,reserved,hadonlybroughtmatterstoaculmination.
“Areyou,”heaskedher,“areyousounhappy,Hilma,thatyoucanlookforwardtonomorebrightnessinyourlife?”
“UnlessIcouldforget—forgetmyhusband,”sheanswered,“howcanIbehappy?Iwouldratherbeunhappyinrememberinghimthanhappyinforgettinghim.Hewasmywholeworld,literallyandtruly.NothingseemedtocountbeforeIknewhim,andnothingcancountformenow,afterIhavelosthim.”
“Youthinknow,”heanswered,“thatinbeinghappyagainyouwouldbedisloyaltohim.Butyouwillfindafterawhile—yearsfromnow—thatitneednotbeso.Thepartofyouthatbelongedtoyourhusbandcanalwayskeephimsacred,thatpartofyoubelongstohimandhetoit.
