Чувство и чувствительность

Chapter XLIV

           "

           "Marianne’snote,byassuringmethatIwasstillasdeartoherasinformerdays,thatinspiteofthemany,manyweekswehadbeenseparated,shewasasconstantinherownfeelings,andasfulloffaithintheconstancyofmineasever,awakenedallmyremorse.Isayawakened,becausetimeandLondon,businessanddissipation,hadinsomemeasurequietedit,andIhadbeengrowingafinehardenedvillain,fancyingmyselfindifferenttoher,andchusingtofancythatshetoomusthavebecomeindifferenttome;talkingtomyselfofourpastattachmentasamereidle,triflingbusiness,shruggingupmyshouldersinproofofitsbeingso,andsilencingeveryreproach,overcomingeveryscruple,bysecretlysayingnowandthen,’Ishallbeheartilygladtohearsheiswellmarried.’—Butthisnotemademeknowmyselfbetter.Ifeltthatshewasinfinitelydearertomethananyotherwomanintheworld,andthatIwasusingherinfamously.ButeverythingwasthenjustsettledbetweenMissGreyandme.Toretreatwasimpossible.AllthatIhadtodo,wastoavoidyouboth.IsentnoanswertoMarianne,intendingbythattopreservemyselffromherfarthernotice;andforsometimeIwasevendeterminednottocallinBerkeleyStreet;—butatlast,judgingitwisertoaffecttheairofacool,commonacquaintancethananythingelse,Iwatchedyouallsafelyoutofthehouseonemorning,andleftmyname."

           "Watchedusoutofthehouse!"

           "Evenso.YouwouldbesurprisedtohearhowoftenIwatchedyou,howoftenIwasonthepointoffallinginwithyou.

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