Волны

           ’

           ’WhenIcameintotheroomtonight,’saidSusan,’Istopped,Ipeeredaboutlikeananimalwithitseyesneartotheground.Thesmellofcarpetsandfurnitureandscentdisgustsme.Iliketowalkthroughthewetfieldsalone,ortostopatagateandwatchmysetternoseinacircle,andtoask:Whereisthehare?Iliketobewithpeoplewhotwistherbs,andspitintothefire,andshuffledownlongpassagesinslipperslikemyfather.TheonlysayingsIunderstandarecriesoflove,hate,rageandpain.Thistalkingisundressinganoldwomanwhosedresshadseemedtobepartofher,butnow,aswetalk,sheturnspinkishunderneath,andhaswrinkledthighsandsaggingbreasts.Whenyouaresilentyouareagainbeautiful.Ishallneverhaveanythingbutnaturalhappiness.Itwillalmostcontentme.Ishallgotobedtired.Ishalllielikeafieldbearingcropsinrotation;inthesummerheatwilldanceoverme;inthewinterIshallbecrackedwiththecold.Butheatandcoldwillfolloweachothernaturallywithoutmywillingorunwilling.Mychildrenwillcarrymeon;theirteething,theircrying,theirgoingtoschoolandcomingbackwillbelikethewavesoftheseaunderme.Nodaywillbewithoutitsmovement.Ishallbeliftedhigherthananyofyouonthebacksoftheseasons.IshallpossessmorethanJinny,morethanRhoda,bythetimeIdie.Butontheotherhand,whereyouarevariousanddimpleamilliontimestotheideasandlaughterofothers,Ishallbesullen,storm-tintedandallonepurple.Ishallbedebasedandhide-boundbythebestialandbeautifulpassionofmaternity.