Дэвид Копперфильд

Mr. Micawber’s Gauntlet

           Inshort,thebanquetwassuchafailurethatIshouldhavebeenquiteunhappyaboutthefailure,Imean,forIwasalwaysunhappyaboutDoraifIhadnotbeenrelievedbythegreatgoodhumourofmycompany,andbyabrightsuggestionfromMr.Micawber.

           ‘MydearfriendCopperfield,’saidMr.Micawber,‘accidentswilloccurinthebest-regulatedfamilies;andinfamiliesnotregulatedbythatpervadinginfluencewhichsanctifieswhileitenhancesthe-aIwouldsay,inshort,bytheinfluenceofWoman,intheloftycharacterofWife,theymaybeexpectedwithconfidence,andmustbebornewithphilosophy.Ifyouwillallowmetotakethelibertyofremarkingthattherearefewcomestiblesbetter,intheirway,thanaDevil,andthatIbelieve,withalittledivisionoflabour,wecouldaccomplishagoodoneiftheyoungpersoninattendancecouldproduceagridiron,Iwouldputittoyou,thatthislittlemisfortunemaybeeasilyrepaired.’

           Therewasagridironinthepantry,onwhichmymorningrasherofbaconwascooked.Wehaditin,inatwinkling,andimmediatelyappliedourselvestocarryingMr.Micawber’sideaintoeffect.Thedivisionoflabourtowhichhehadreferredwasthis:Traddlescutthemuttonintoslices;Mr.Micawber(whocoulddoanythingofthissorttoperfection)coveredthemwithpepper,mustard,salt,andcayenne;Iputthemonthegridiron,turnedthemwithafork,andtookthemoff,underMr.Micawber’sdirection;andMrs.

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