Лорд Джим

Chapter 13

           Ifhehadnotenlistedmysympathieshehaddonebetterforhimselfhehadgonetotheveryfountandoriginofthatsentimenthehadreachedthesecretsensibilityofmyegoism.Iamconcealingnothingfromyou,becausewereItodosomyactionwouldappearmoreunintelligiblethananyman’sactionhastherighttobe,andinthesecondplaceto-morrowyouwillforgetmysincerityalongwiththeotherlessonsofthepast.Inthistransaction,tospeakgrosslyandprecisely,Iwastheirreproachableman;butthesubtleintentionsofmyimmoralityweredefeatedbythemoralsimplicityofthecriminal.Nodoubthewasselfishtoo,buthisselfishnesshadahigherorigin,amoreloftyaim.Idiscoveredthat,saywhatIwould,hewaseagertogothroughtheceremonyofexecution,andIdidn’tsaymuch,forIfeltthatinargumenthisyouthwouldtellagainstmeheavily:hebelievedwhereIhadalreadyceasedtodoubt.Therewassomethingfineinthewildnessofhisunexpressed,hardlyformulatedhope.“Clearout!Couldn’tthinkofit,”hesaid,withashakeofthehead.“ImakeyouanofferforwhichIneitherdemandnorexpectanysortofgratitude,”Isaid;“youshallrepaythemoneywhenconvenient,and...“Awfullygoodofyou,”hemutteredwithoutlookingup.Iwatchedhimnarrowly:thefuturemusthaveappearedhorriblyuncertaintohim;buthedidnotfalter,asthoughindeedtherehadbeennothingwrongwithhisheart.Ifeltangrynotforthefirsttimethatnight.

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