Голод

           IheardquitewellwhatIwassaying,andIsworethisliewittingly;repeatingtimeaftertime,justtohavethevicioussatisfactionofperjuringmyself.Igotintoxicatedwiththethoughtofthismatchlesssinofmine.Iraisedthreefingersintheair,andswore,withtremblinglips,inthenameoftheFather,Son,andHolyGhost,thattheywerecabbages.

           Timewent.Iletmyselfsinkdownonthestepsnearme,anddriedthesweatfrommybrowandthroat,drewacoupleoflongbreaths,andforcedmyselfintocalmness.Thesunsliddown;itdeclinedtowardstheafternoon.Ibeganoncemoretobroodovermycondition.Myhungerwasreallysomethingdisgraceful,and,inafewhoursmore,nightwouldbehereagain.Thequestionwas,tothinkofaremedywhiletherewasyettime.Mythoughtsflewagaintothelodging-housefromwhichIhadbeenhuntedaway.Icouldonnoaccountreturnthere;butyetonecouldnothelpthinkingaboutit.Properlyspeaking,thewomanwasactingquitewithinherrightsinturningmeout.HowcouldIexpecttogetlodgingwithanyonewhenIcouldnotpayforit?Besides,shehadoccasionallygivenmealittlefood;evenyesterdayevening,afterIhadannoyedher,sheofferedmesomebreadandbutter.Sheofferedittomeoutofsheergoodnature,becausesheknewIneededit,soIhadnocausetocomplain.Ibegan,evenwhilstIsatthereonthestep,toaskherpardoninmyownmindformybehaviour.