Голод
Part I
Ihadremarkedsoplainlythat,wheneverIhadbeenhungryforanylengthoftime,itwasjustasifmybrainsranquitegentlyoutofmyheadandleftmewithavacuum—myheadgrewlightandfaroff,Inolongerfeltitsweightonmyshoulders,andIhadaconsciousnessthatmyeyesstaredfartoowidelyopenwhenIlookedatanything.
Isatthereontheseatandponderedoverallthis,andgrewmoreandmorebitteragainstGodforHisprolongedinflictions.IfHemeanttodrawmenearertoHim,andmakemebetterbyexhaustingmeandplacingobstacleafterobstacleinmyway,IcouldassureHimHemadeaslightmistake.And,almostcryingwithdefiance,IlookeduptowardsHeavenandtoldHimsomentally,onceandforall.
Fragmentsoftheteachingsofmychildhoodranthroughmymemory.TherhythmicalsoundofBiblicallanguagesanginmyears,andItalkedquitesoftlytomyself,andheldmyheadsneeringlyaskew.WhereforeshouldIsorrowforwhatIeat,forwhatIdrink,orforwhatImayarraythismiserablefoodforwormscalledmyearthybody?HathnotmyHeavenlyFatherprovidedforme,evenasforthesparrowonthehousetop,andhathHenotinHisgraciousnesspointedtowardsHislowlyservitor?TheLordstuckHisfingerinthenetofmynervesgently—yea,verily,indesultoryfashion—andbroughtslightdisorderamongthethreads.
