Паразит
IV
WhathaveIdonetodeservesuchlove?Iwentbackhomewiththem,andwelunchedtogether.Allthetroublesseeminamomenttohavebeenshreddedbackfrommylife.ShetellsmethatIamlookingpaleandworriedandill.Thedearchildputsitdowntomylonelinessandtheperfunctoryattentionsofahousekeeper.Ipraythatshemayneverknowthetruth!Maytheshadow,ifshadowtheremustbe,lieeverblackacrossmylifeandleavehersinthesunshine.Ihavejustcomebackfromthem,feelinganewman.WithherbymysideIthinkthatIcouldshowaboldfacetoanythingwhichlifemightsend.5P.M.Now,letmetrytobeaccurate.Letmetrytosayexactlyhowitoccurred.Itisfreshinmymind,andIcansetitdowncorrectly,thoughitisnotlikelythatthetimewillevercomewhenIshallforgetthedoingsofto-day.IhadreturnedfromtheMardens’afterlunch,andwascuttingsomemicroscopicsectionsinmyfreezingmicrotome,wheninaninstantIlostconsciousnessinthesuddenhatefulfashionwhichhasbecomeonlytoofamiliartomeoflate.WhenmysensescamebacktomeIwassittinginasmallchamber,verydifferentfromtheoneinwhichIhadbeenworking.Itwascoseyandbright,withchintz-coveredsettees,coloredhangings,andathousandprettylittletriflesuponthewall.Asmallornamentalclocktickedinfrontofme,andthehandspointedtohalf-pastthree.Itwasallquitefamiliartome,andyetIstaredaboutforamomentinahalf-dazedwayuntilmyeyesfelluponacabinetphotographofmyselfuponthetopofthepiano.OntheothersidestoodoneofMrs.Marden.
