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Honourably accounts for Mr. Weller’s Absence, by describing a Soiree to which he was invited and wen

           Tuckleputthequestionthatsupperbeorderedin,whichwascarriedunanimously.

           Thegreengrocerandhiswifethenarrangeduponthetableaboiledlegofmutton,hot,withcapersauce,turnips,andpotatoes.Mr.Tuckletookthechair,andwassupportedattheotherendoftheboardbythegentlemaninorangeplush.Thegreengrocerputonapairofwash-leatherglovestohandtheplateswith,andstationedhimselfbehindMr.Tuckle’schair.

           ‘Harris,’saidMr.Tuckle,inacommandingtone.‘Sir,’saidthegreengrocer.

           ‘Haveyougotyourgloveson?’‘Yes,Sir.’

           ‘Thentakethekiveroff.’

           ‘Yes,Sir.’

           Thegreengrocerdidashewastold,withashowofgreathumility,andobsequiouslyhandedMr.Tucklethecarving–knife;indoingwhich,heaccidentallygaped.

           ‘Whatdoyoumeanbythat,Sir?’saidMr.Tuckle,withgreatasperity.

           ‘Ibegyourpardon,Sir,’repliedthecrestfallengreengrocer,‘Ididn’tmeantodoit,Sir;Iwasupverylatelastnight,Sir.’

           ‘Itellyouwhatmyopinionofyouis,Harris,’saidMr.Tuckle,withamostimpressiveair,‘you’reawulgarbeast.’

           ‘Ihope,gentlemen,’saidHarris,‘thatyouwon’tbeseverewithme,gentlemen.Iamverymuchobligedtoyouindeed,gentlemen,foryourpatronage,andalsoforyourrecommendations,gentlemen,wheneveradditionalassistanceinwaitingisrequired.

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