Посмертные записки Пиквикского клуба

Mr. Weller the elder delivers some Critical Sentiments respecting Literary Composition; and, assiste

           Isoutofemploynow;andnevertouchesadropofforeignwinebyanychance(tremendousplaudits).

           ‘ThomasBurtonispurveyorofcat’smeattotheLordMayorandSheriffs,andseveralmembersoftheCommonCouncil(theannouncementofthisgentleman’snamewasreceivedwithbreathlessinterest).Hasawoodenleg;findsawoodenlegexpensive,goingoverthestones;usedtowearsecond-handwoodenlegs,anddrinkaglassofhotgin-and-waterregularlyeverynightsometimestwo(deepsighs).Foundthesecond-handwoodenlegssplitandrotveryquickly;isfirmlypersuadedthattheirconstitutionwasunderminedbythegin-and-water(prolongedcheering).Buysnewwoodenlegsnow,anddrinksnothingbutwaterandweaktea.Thenewlegslasttwiceaslongastheothersusedtodo,andheattributesthissolelytohistemperatehabits(triumphantcheers).’

           AnthonyHummnowmovedthattheassemblydoregaleitselfwithasong.Withaviewtotheirrationalandmoralenjoyment,BrotherMordlinhadadaptedthebeautifulwordsof‘Whohasn’theardofaJollyYoungWaterman?’tothetuneoftheOldHundredth,whichhewouldrequestthemtojoinhiminsinging(greatapplause).HemighttakethatopportunityofexpressinghisfirmpersuasionthatthelateMr.Dibdin,seeingtheerrorsofhisformerlife,hadwrittenthatsongtoshowtheadvantagesofabstinence.Itwasatemperancesong(whirlwindsofcheers).

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