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Containing the Story of the Bagman’s Uncle

           Atonebound,myunclecaughtitinhishand,drewit,flourisheditgallantlyabovehishead,calledaloudtotheladytokeepoutoftheway,hurledthechairatthemaninsky-blue,andthescabbardatthemaninplum-colour,andtakingadvantageoftheconfusion,felluponthemboth,pell-mell.

           ‘Gentlemen,thereisanoldstorynonetheworseforbeingtrueregardingafineyoungIrishgentleman,whobeingaskedifhecouldplaythefiddle,repliedhehadnodoubthecould,buthecouldn’texactlysay,forcertain,becausehehadnevertried.Thisisnotinapplicabletomyuncleandhisfencing.Hehadneverhadaswordinhishandbefore,exceptoncewhenheplayedRichardtheThirdataprivatetheatre,uponwhichoccasionitwasarrangedwithRichmondthathewastoberunthrough,frombehind,withoutshowingfightatall.Butherehewas,cuttingandslashingwithtwoexperiencedswordsman,thrusting,andguarding,andpoking,andslicing,andacquittinghimselfinthemostmanfulanddexterousmannerpossible,althoughuptothattimehehadneverbeenawarethathehadtheleastnotionofthescience.Itonlyshowshowtruetheoldsayingis,thatamanneverknowswhathecandotillhetries,gentlemen.

           ‘Thenoiseofthecombatwasterrific;eachofthethreecombatantsswearingliketroopers,andtheirswordsclashingwithasmuchnoiseasifalltheknivesandsteelsinNewportmarketwererattlingtogether,atthesametime.

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