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Containing the Story of the Bagman’s Uncle

           Myunclewasjudgedtohavewonthemaking,butTomSmartbeathiminthedrinkingbyabouthalfasalt-spoonful.Theytookanotherquartapiecetodrinkeachother’shealthin,andwerestaunchfriendseverafterwards.There’sadestinyinthesethings,gentlemen;wecan’thelpit.

           ‘Inpersonalappearance,myunclewasatrifleshorterthanthemiddlesize;hewasathoughtstoutertoo,thantheordinaryrunofpeople,andperhapshisfacemightbeashaderedder.Hehadthejolliestfaceyoueversaw,gentleman:somethinglikePunch,withahandsomenoseandchin;hiseyeswerealwaystwinklingandsparklingwithgood-humour;andasmilenotoneofyourunmeaningwoodengrins,butareal,merry,hearty,good-temperedsmilewasperpetuallyonhiscountenance.Hewaspitchedoutofhisgigonce,andknocked,headfirst,againstamilestone.Therehelay,stunned,andsocutaboutthefacewithsomegravelwhichhadbeenheapedupalongsideit,that,tousemyuncle’sownstrongexpression,ifhismothercouldhaverevisitedtheearth,shewouldn’thaveknownhim.Indeed,whenIcometothinkofthematter,gentlemen,Ifeelprettysureshewouldn’t.forshediedwhenmyunclewastwoyearsandsevenmonthsold,andIthinkit’sverylikelythat,evenwithoutthegravel,histop-bootswouldhavepuzzledthegoodladynotalittle;tosaynothingofhisjollyredface.

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