Морской волк

Chapter 23

           Furusethwasright;Iwasabnormal,an"emotionlessmonster,"astrangebookishcreature,capableofpleasuringinsensationsonlyofthemind.AndthoughIhadbeensurroundedbywomenallmydays,myappreciationofthemhadbeenaestheticandnothingmore.Ihadactually,attimes,consideredmyselfoutsidethepale,amonkishfellowdeniedtheeternalorthepassingpassionsIsawandunderstoodsowellinothers.Andnowithadcome!Undreamedofandunheralded,ithadcome.Inwhatcouldhavebeennolessthananecstasy,Ileftmypostattheheadofthecompanion-wayandstartedalongthedeck,murmuringtomyselfthosebeautifullinesofMrs.Browning:

           

           "Ilivedwithvisionsformycompany

           Insteadofmenandwomenyearsago,

           Andfoundthemgentlemates,northoughttoknow

           Asweetermusicthantheyplayedtome."

           

           Butthesweetermusicwasplayinginmyears,andIwasblindandoblivioustoallaboutme.ThesharpvoiceofWolfLarsenarousedme.

           "Whatthehellareyouupto?"hewasdemanding.

           Ihadstrayedforwardwherethesailorswerepainting,andIcametomyselftofindmyadvancingfootonthevergeofoverturningapaint-pot.

           "Sleep-walking,sunstrokewhat?"hebarked.

           "No;indigestion,"Iretorted,andcontinuedmywalkasifnothinguntowardhadoccurred.

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