Морской волк

Chapter 16

           "Ofthetwoofus,youandI,whoisthegreatercoward?"heaskedseriously."Ifthesituationisunpleasing,youcompromisewithyourconsciencewhenyoumakeyourselfapartytoit.Ifyouwerereallygreat,reallytruetoyourself,youwouldjoinforceswithLeachandJohnson.Butyouareafraid,youareafraid.Youwanttolive.Thelifethatisinyoucriesoutthatitmustlive,nomatterwhatthecost;soyouliveignominiously,untruetothebestyoudreamof,sinningagainstyourwholepitifullittlecode,and,iftherewereahell,headingyoursoulstraightforit.Bah!Iplaythebraverpart.Idonosin,forIamtruetothepromptingsofthelifethatisinme.Iamsincerewithmysoulatleast,andthatiswhatyouarenot."

           Therewasastinginwhathesaid.Perhaps,afterall,Iwasplayingacowardlypart.AndthemoreIthoughtaboutitthemoreitappearedthatmydutytomyselflayindoingwhathehadadvised,layinjoiningforceswithJohnsonandLeachandworkingforhisdeath.Righthere,Ithink,enteredtheaustereconscienceofmyPuritanancestry,impellingmetowardluriddeedsandsanctioningevenmurderasrightconduct.Idweltupontheidea.Itwouldbeamostmoralacttoridtheworldofsuchamonster.Humanitywouldbebetterandhappierforit,lifefairerandsweeter.

           Ipondereditlong,lyingsleeplessinmybunkandreviewinginendlessprocessionthefactsofthesituation.ItalkedwithJohnsonandLeach,duringthenightwatcheswhenWolfLarsenwasbelow.

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