По эту сторону рая
The Supercilious Sacrifice
Hequicklyrecapitulatedthestoryofasacrificehehadheardofincollege:amanhadcheatedinanexamination;hisroommateinagustofsentimenthadtakentheentireblame—duetotheshameofittheinnocentone’sentirefutureseemedshroudedinregretandfailure,cappedbytheingratitudeoftherealculprit.Hehadfinallytakenhisownlife—yearsafterwardthefactshadcomeout.AtthetimethestoryhadbothpuzzledandworriedAmory.Nowherealizedthetruth;thatsacrificewasnopurchaseoffreedom.Itwaslikeagreatelectiveoffice,itwaslikeaninheritanceofpower—tocertainpeopleatcertaintimesanessentialluxury,carryingwithitnotaguaranteebutaresponsibility,notasecuritybutaninfiniterisk.Itsverymomentummightdraghimdowntoruin—thepassingoftheemotionalwavethatmadeitpossiblemightleavetheonewhomadeithighanddryforeveronanislandofdespair.
...AmoryknewthatafterwardAlecwouldsecretlyhatehimforhavingdonesomuchforhim....
...AllthiswasflungbeforeAmorylikeanopenedscroll,whileulteriortohimandspeculatinguponhimwerethosetwobreathless,listeningforces:thegossameraurathathungoverandaboutthegirlandthatfamiliarthingbythewindow.
Sacrificebyitsverynaturewasarrogantandimpersonal;sacrificeshouldbeeternallysupercilious.
Weepnotformebutforthychildren.
That—thoughtAmory—wouldbesomehowthewayGodwouldtalktome.
