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Narcissus Off Duty
Butyousee,I’vealwaysfeltthatStephen’sdeathwasthethingthatoccurredtoPaulontheroadtoDamascus,andsenthimtopreachthewordofChristallovertheworld."
"Goon."
"That’sall—thisismyparticularduty.EvenifrightnowI’mjustapawn—justsacrificed.God!Amory—youdon’tthinkIliketheGermans!"
"Well,Ican’tsayanythingelse—Igettotheendofallthelogicaboutnon-resistance,andthere,likeanexcludedmiddle,standsthehugespectreofmanasheisandalwayswillbe.AndthisspectrestandsrightbesidetheonelogicalnecessityofTolstoi’s,andtheotherlogicalnecessityofNietzsche’s—"Amorybrokeoffsuddenly."Whenareyougoing?"
"I’mgoingnextweek."
"I’llseeyou,ofcourse."
AshewalkedawayitseemedtoAmorythatthelookinhisfaceboreagreatresemblancetothatinKerry’swhenhehadsaidgood-byunderBlairArchtwoyearsbefore.Amorywonderedunhappilywhyhecouldnevergointoanythingwiththeprimalhonestyofthosetwo.
"Burne’safanatic,"hesaidtoTom,"andhe’sdeadwrongand,I’minclinedtothink,justanunconsciouspawninthehandsofanarchisticpublishersandGerman-paidragwavers—buthehauntsme—justleavingeverythingworthwhile—"
Burneleftinaquietlydramaticmanneraweeklater.Hesoldallhispossessionsandcamedowntotheroomtosaygood-by,withabatteredoldbicycle,onwhichheintendedtoridetohishomeinPennsylvania.