Робинзон Крузо
Ill and Conscience–Stricken
EvenwhenIwasafterwards,ondueconsideration,madesensibleofmycondition,howIwascastonthisdreadfulplace,outofthereachofhumankind,outofallhopeofrelief,orprospectofredemption,assoonasIsawbutaprospectofliving,andthatIshouldnotstarveandperishforhunger,allthesenseofmyafflictionworeoff, andIbegantobeveryeasy,appliedmyselftotheworksproperformypreservationandsupply,andwasfarenoughfrombeingafflictedatmycondition,asajudgmentfromheaven,orasthehandofGodagainstme; thesewerethoughtswhichveryseldomenteredmyhead.
Thegrowingupofthecorn,asishintedinmyjournal,hadatfirstsomelittleinfluenceuponme,andbegantoaffectmewithseriousness,aslongasIthoughtithadsomethingmiraculousinit; butassoonaseverthatpartofthethoughtwasremoved,alltheimpressionwhichwasraisedfromitworeoffalso,asIhavenotedalready.
Eventheearthquake,thoughnothingcouldbemoreterribleinitsnature,ormoreimmediatelydirectingtotheinvisiblePower,whichalonedirectssuchthings,yetnosoonerwasthefirstfrightover,buttheimpressionithadmadewentoffalso. IhadnomoresenseofGodorHisjudgments,muchlessofthepresentafflictionofmycircumstancesbeingfromHisHand,thanifhadbeeninthemostprosperousconditionoflife.
Butnow,whenIbegantobesick,andaleisurelyviewofthemiseriesofdeathcametoplaceitselfbeforeme; whenmyspiritsbegantosinkundertheburdenofastrongdistemper,andNaturewasexhaustedwiththeviolenceofthefever; conscience,thathadsleptsolong,begantoawake,andIbegantoreproachmyselfwithmypastlife,inwhichIhadsoevidently,byuncommonwickedness,provokedthejusticeofGodtolaymeunderuncommonstrokes,andtodealwithmeinsovindictiveamanner.
