Пані Боварі

Chapter 5

           Thechemist’swifeseemedhappytohertosleepunderthesameroof,andherthoughtsconstantlycentereduponthishouse,likethe"Liond’Or"pigeons,whocametheretodiptheirredfeetandwhitewingsinitsgutters.ButthemoreEmmarecognisedherlove,themoreshecrusheditdown,thatitmightnotbeevident,thatshemightmakeitless.ShewouldhavelikedLeontoguessit,andsheimaginedchances,catastrophesthatshouldfacilitatethis.

           Whatrestrainedherwas,nodoubt,idlenessandfear,andasenseofshamealso.Shethoughtshehadrepulsedhimtoomuch,thatthetimewaspast,thatallwaslost.Then,pride,andjoyofbeingabletosaytoherself,"Iamvirtuous,"andtolookatherselfintheglasstakingresignedposes,consoledheralittleforthesacrificeshebelievedshewasmaking.

           Thenthelustsoftheflesh,thelongingformoney,andthemelancholyofpassionallblendedthemselvesintoonesuffering,andinsteadofturningherthoughtsfromit,sheclavetoitthemore,urgingherselftopain,andseekingeverywhereoccasionforit.Shewasirritatedbyanill-serveddishorbyahalf-opendoor;bewailedthevelvetsshehadnot,thehappinessshehadmissed,hertooexalteddreams,hernarrowhome.

           WhatexasperatedherwasthatCharlesdidnotseemtonoticeheranguish.Hisconvictionthathewasmakingherhappyseemedtoheranimbecileinsult,andhissurenessonthispointingratitude.

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