Коханець леді Чаттерлей
Chapter 14
’
’Andwhatareyounow?’
’I’msorry,fromtheoutside:allthecomplicationsandtheuglinessandrecriminationthat’sboundtocome,soonerorlater.That’swhenmybloodsinks,andI’mlow.Butwhenmybloodcomesup,I’mglad.I’meventriumphant.Iwasreallygettingbitter.Ithoughttherewasnorealsexleft:neverawomanwho’dreally"come"naturallywithaman:exceptblackwomen,andsomehow,well,we’rewhitemen:andthey’reabitlikemud.’
’Andnow,areyougladofme?’sheasked.
’Yes!WhenIcanforgettherest.WhenIcan’tforgettherest,Iwanttogetunderthetableanddie.’
’Whyunderthetable?’
’Why?’helaughed.’Hide,Isuppose.Baby!’
’Youdoseemtohavehadawfulexperiencesofwomen,’shesaid.
’Yousee,Icouldn’tfoolmyself.That’swheremostmenmanage.Theytakeanattitude,andacceptalie.Icouldneverfoolmyself.IknewwhatIwantedwithawoman,andIcouldneversayI’dgotitwhenIhadn’t.’
’Buthaveyougotitnow?’
’LooksasifImighthave.’
’Thenwhyareyousopaleandgloomy?’
’Bellyfulofremembering:andperhapsafraidofmyself.’
Shesatinsilence.Itwasgrowinglate.
’Anddoyouthinkit’simportant,amanandawoman?’sheaskedhim.
’Formeitis.Formeit’sthecoreofmylife:ifIhavearightrelationwithawoman.’
’Andifyoudidn’tgetit?’
’ThenI’dhavetodowithout.’
Againshepondered,beforesheasked:
’Anddoyouthinkyou’vealwaysbeenrightwithwomen?’
’God,no!Iletmywifegettowhatshewas:myfaultagooddeal.
