Коханець леді Чаттерлей

Chapter 10

           Hewasanetworkofnerves,andwhenhewasnotbraceduptowork,andsofullofenergy:orwhenhewasnotlistening-in,andsoutterlyneuter:thenhewashauntedbyanxietyandasenseofdangerousimpendingvoid.Hewasafraid.AndConniecouldkeepthefearoffhim,ifshewould.Butitwasobviousshewouldn’t,shewouldn’t.Shewascallous,coldandcalloustoallthathedidforher.Hegaveuphislifeforher,andshewascalloustohim.Sheonlywantedherownway.’Theladylovesherwill.’

           Nowitwasababyshewasobsessedby.Justsothatitshouldbeherown,allherown,andnothis!

           Cliffordwassohealthy,considering.Helookedsowellandruddyintheface,hisshoulderswerebroadandstrong,hischestdeep,hehadputonflesh.Andyet,atthesametime,hewasafraidofdeath.Aterriblehollowseemedtomenacehimsomewhere,somehow,avoid,andintothisvoidhisenergywouldcollapse.Energyless,hefeltattimeshewasdead,reallydead.

           Sohisratherprominentpaleeyeshadaqueerlook,furtive,andyetalittlecruel,socold:andatthesametime,almostimpudent.Itwasaveryoddlook,thislookofimpudence:asifheweretriumphingoverlifeinspiteoflife.’Whoknoweththemysteriesofthewill--foritcantriumphevenagainsttheangels--’

           Buthisdreadwasthenightswhenhecouldnotsleep.Thenitwasawfulindeed,whenannihilationpressedinonhimoneveryside.Thenitwasghastly,toexistwithouthavinganylife:lifeless,inthenight,toexist.

           ButnowhecouldringforMrsBolton.Andshewouldalwayscome.Thatwasagreatcomfort.

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