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Chapter 12

           )TobeashoefitterinManfield’swasmylove’syoungdream,thedarlingjoysofsweetbuttonhooking,tolaceupcrisscrossedtokneelengththedressykidfootwearsatinlined,soincrediblyimpossiblysmall,ofClydeRoadladies.EventheirwaxmodelRaymondeIvisiteddailytoadmirehercobwebhoseandstickofrhubarbtoe,asworninParis.

           THEHOOF:Smellmyhotgoathide.Feelmyroyalweight.

           BLOOM:(Crosslacing.)Tootight?

           THEHOOF:Ifyoubungle,HandyAndy,I’llkickyourfootballforyou.

           BLOOM:NottolacethewrongeyeletasIdidthenightofthebazaardance.Badluck.Hookinwrongtacheofher...personyoumentioned.Thatnightshemet...Now!

           (Heknotsthelace.Bellaplacesherfootonthefloor.Bloomraiseshishead.Herheavyface,hereyesstrikehiminmidbrow.Hiseyesgrowdull,darkerandpouched,hisnosethickens.)

           BLOOM:(Mumbles.)Awaitingyourfurtherordersweremain,gentlemen,...

           BELLO:(Withahardbasiliskstare,inabaritonevoice.)Houndofdishonour!

           BLOOM:(Infatuated.)Empress!

           BELLO:(Hisheavycheekchopssagging.)Adoreroftheadulterousrump!

           BLOOM:(Plaintively.)Hugeness!

           BELLO:Dungdevourer!

           BLOOM:(Withsinewssemiflexed.)Magmagnificence!

           BELLO:Down!(Hetapsherontheshoulderwithhisfan.)Inclinefeetforward!Slideleftfootonepaceback!Youwillfall.Youarefalling.Onthehandsdown!

           BLOOM:(Hereyesupturnedinthesignofadmiration,closing,yaps.

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