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           GodsaveLeopoldtheFirst!

           ALL:GodsaveLeopoldtheFirst!

           BLOOM:(Indalmaticandpurplemantle,tothebishopofDownandConnor,withdignity.)Thanks,somewhateminentsir.

           WILLIAM,ARCHBISHOPOFARMAGH:(Inpurplestockandshovelhat.)WillyoutoyourpowercauselawandmercytobeexecutedinallyourjudgmentsinIrelandandterritoriesthereuntobelonging?

           BLOOM:(Placinghisrighthandonhistesticles,swears.)SomaytheCreatordealwithme.AllthisIpromisetodo.

           MICHAEL,ARCHBISHOPOFARMAGH:(PoursacruseofhairoiloverBloom’shead.)Gaudiummagnumannuntiovobis.Habemuscarneficem.Leopold,Patrick,Andrew,David,George,bethouanointed!

           (Bloomassumesamantleofclothofgoldandputsonarubyring.Heascendsandstandsonthestoneofdestiny.Therepresentativepeersputonatthesametimetheirtwentyeightcrowns.JoybellsringinChristchurch,SaintPatrick’s,George’sandgayMalahide.Mirusbazaarfireworksgoupfromallsideswithsymbolicalphallopyrotechnicdesigns.Thepeersdohomage,onebyone,approachingandgenuflecting.)

           THEPEERS:Idobecomeyourliegemanoflifeandlimbtoearthlyworship.

           (BloomholdsuphisrighthandonwhichsparklestheKoh-i-Noordiamond.Hispalfreyneighs.Immediatesilence.Wirelessintercontinentalandinterplanetarytransmittersaresetforreceptionofmessage.)

           BLOOM:Mysubjects!WeherebynominateourfaithfulchargerCopulaFelixhereditaryGrandVizierandannouncethatwehavethisdayrepudiatedourformerspouseandhavebestowedourroyalhandupontheprincessSelene,thesplendourofnight.