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Mrs. Bullfrog
ItisnotassumingtoomuchtoaffirmthattheladiesthemselveswerehardlysoladylikeasThomasBullfrog.Sopainfullyacutewasmysenseoffemaleimperfection,andsuchvariedexcellencedidIrequireinthewomanwhomIcouldlove,thattherewasanawfulriskofmygettingnowifeatall,orofbeingdriventoperpetratematrimonywithmyownimageinthelooking-glass.Besidesthefundamentalprinciplealreadyhintedat,Idemandedthefreshbloomofyouth,pearlyteeth,glossyringlets,andthewholelistoflovelyitems,withtheutmostdelicacyofhabitsandsentiments,asilkentextureofmind,and,aboveall,avirginheart.Inaword,ifayoungangeljustfromparadise,yetdressedinearthlyfashion,hadcomeandofferedmeherhand,itisbynomeanscertainthatIshouldhavetakenit.Therewaseverychanceofmybecomingamostmiserableoldbachelor,when,bythebestluckintheworld,Imadeajourneyintoanotherstate,andwassmittenby,andsmoteagain,andwooed,won,andmarried,thepresentMrs.Bullfrog,allinthespaceofafortnight.Owingtotheseextemporemeasures,Inotonlygavemybridecreditforcertainperfectionswhichhavenotasyetcometolight,butalsooverlookedafewtriflingdefects,which,however,glimmeredonmyperceptionlongbeforethecloseofthehoneymoon.Yet,astherewasnomistakeaboutthefundamentalprincipleaforesaid,Isoonlearned,aswillbeseen,toestimateMrs.Bullfrog’sdeficienciesandsuperfluitiesatexactlytheirpropervalue.
ThesamemorningthatMrs.
