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The Celestial Railroad

           Intruth,thosewhodesired,accordingtotheoldadage,tosellanythingvaluableforasong,mightfindcustomersallovertheFair;andtherewereinnumerablemessesofpottage,pipinghot,forsuchaschosetobuythemwiththeirbirthrights.Afewarticles,however,couldnotbefoundgenuineatVanityFair.Ifacustomerwishedtorenewhisstockofyouththedealersofferedhimasetoffalseteethandanauburnwig;ifhedemandedpeaceofmind,theyrecommendedopiumorabrandybottle.

           Tractsoflandandgoldenmansions,situateintheCelestialCity,wereoftenexchanged,atverydisadvantageousrates,forafewyears’leaseofsmall,dismal,inconvenienttenementsinVanityFair.PrinceBeelzebubhimselftookgreatinterestinthissortoftraffic,andsometimescondescendedtomeddlewithsmallermatters.Ioncehadthepleasuretoseehimbargainingwithamiserforhissoul,which,aftermuchingeniousskirmishingonbothsides,hishighnesssucceededinobtainingataboutthevalueofsixpence.Theprinceremarkedwithasmile,thathewasaloserbythetransaction.

           Dayafterday,asIwalkedthestreetsofVanity,mymannersanddeportmentbecamemoreandmorelikethoseoftheinhabitants.Theplacebegantoseemlikehome;theideaofpursuingmytravelstotheCelestialCitywasalmostobliteratedfrommymind.Iwasremindedofit,however,bythesightofthesamepairofsimplepilgrimsatwhomwehadlaughedsoheartilywhenApollyonpuffedsmokeandsteamintotheirfacesatthecommencementofourjourney.

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