Риф, або Там, де розбивається щастя

XXIX

           EvenifIdid,Iprobablycouldn’tmakeyouunderstand—Idon’t,myself,asIlookback.Bejusttome—it’syourright;allIaskyouistobegeneroustoMissViner...”

           Shestooduptrembling.“You’refreetobeasgeneroustoherasyouplease!”

           “Yes:you’vemadeitcleartomethatI’mfree.Butthere’snothingIcandoforherthatwillhelpherhalfasmuchasyourunderstandingherwould.”

           “Nothingyoucandoforher?Youcanmarryher!”

           Hisfacehardened.“Youcertainlycouldn’twishheraworsefate!”

           “Itmusthavebeenwhatsheexpected...reliedon...”Hewassilent,andshebrokeout:“Orwhatisshe?Whatareyou?It’stoohorrible!Onyourwayhere...tome...”Shefeltthetearsinherthroatandstopped.

           “Thatwasit,”hesaidbluntly.Shestaredathim.

           “Iwasonmywaytoyou—afterrepeateddelaysandpostponementsofyourownmaking.Attheverylastyouturnedmebackwithamereword—andwithoutexplanation.Iwaitedforaletter;andnonecame.I’mnotsayingthistojustifymyself.I’msimplytryingtomakeyouunderstand.Ifelthurtandbitterandbewildered.Ithoughtyoumeanttogivemeup.Andsuddenly,inmyway,Ifoundsomeonetobesorryfor,tobeofuseto.That,Isweartoyou,wasthewayitbegan.Therestwasamoment’sfolly...aflashofmadness...assuchthingsare.We’veneverseeneachothersince...”

           Annawaslookingathimcoldly.“Yousufficientlydescribeherinsayingthat!”

           “Yes,ifyoumeasureherbyconventionalstandards—whichiswhatyoualwaysdeclareyouneverdo.

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