Нортенгерське абатство
Chapter 15
“Youaresolikeyourdearbrother,”continuedIsabella,“thatIquitedotedonyouthefirstmomentIsawyou.Butsoitalwaysiswithme;thefirstmomentsettleseverything.TheveryfirstdaythatMorlandcametouslastChristmas—theveryfirstmomentIbeheldhim—myheartwasirrecoverablygone.IrememberIworemyyellowgown,withmyhairdoneupinbraids;andwhenIcameintothedrawing-room,andJohnintroducedhim,IthoughtIneversawanybodysohandsomebefore.”
HereCatherinesecretlyacknowledgedthepoweroflove;for,thoughexceedinglyfondofherbrother,andpartialtoallhisendowments,shehadneverinherlifethoughthimhandsome.
“Iremembertoo,MissAndrewsdrankteawithusthatevening,andworeherpuce-colouredsarsenet;andshelookedsoheavenlythatIthoughtyourbrothermustcertainlyfallinlovewithher;Icouldnotsleepawinkallrightforthinkingofit.Oh!Catherine,themanysleeplessnightsIhavehadonyourbrother’saccount!IwouldnothaveyousufferhalfwhatIhavedone!Iamgrownwretchedlythin,Iknow;butIwillnotpainyoubydescribingmyanxiety;youhaveseenenoughofit.IfeelthatIhavebetrayedmyselfperpetually—sounguardedinspeakingofmypartialityforthechurch!ButmysecretIwasalwayssurewouldbesafewithyou.”
Catherinefeltthatnothingcouldhavebeensafer;butashamedofanignorancelittleexpected,shedarednolongercontestthepoint,norrefusetohavebeenasfullofarchpenetrationandaffectionatesympathyasIsabellachosetoconsiderher.