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I,whohavebeensinceMonday,whensheacceptedme,chargedineverynervewithasenseofidentity,whocouldnotseeatooth-brushinaglasswithoutsaying,"Mytoothbrush",nowwishtounclaspmyhandsandletfallmypossessions,andmerelystandhereinthestreet,takingnopart,watchingtheomnibuses,withoutdesire;withoutenvy;withwhatwouldbeboundlesscuriosityabouthumandestinyiftherewereanylongeranedgetomymind.Butithasnone.Ihavearrived;amaccepted.Iasknothing.
’Havingdroppedoffsatisfiedlikeachildfromthebreast,Iamatlibertynowtosinkdown,deep,intowhatpasses,thisomnipresent,generallife.(Howmuch,letmenote,dependsupontrousers;theintelligentheadisentirelyhandicappedbyshabbytrousers.)Oneobservescurioushesitationsatthedoorofthelift.Thisway,thatway,theother?Thenindividualityassertsitself.Theyareoff.Theyareallimpelledbysomenecessity.Somemiserableaffairofkeepinganappointment,ofbuyingahat,seversthesebeautifulhumanbeingsoncesounited.Formyself,Ihavenoaim.Ihavenoambition.Iwillletmyselfbecarriedonbythegeneralimpulse.Thesurfaceofmymindslipsalonglikeapale-greystream,reflectingwhatpasses.Icannotremembermypast,mynose,orthecolourofmyeyes,orwhatmygeneralopinionofmyselfis.Onlyinmomentsofemergency,atacrossing,atakerb,thewishtopreservemybodyspringsoutandseizesmeandstopsme,here,beforethisomnibus.Weinsist,itseems,onliving.Thenagain,indifferencedescends.
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