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Ithadbeenimpossibleforme,takingsnuffasIdofromanybagmanmetinatrain,tokeepcoherency--thatsenseofthegenerations,ofwomencarryingredpitcherstotheNile,ofthenightingalewhosingsamongconquestsandmigrations.Ithadbeentoovastanundertaking,Isaid,andhowcanIgoonliftingmyfootperpetuallytoclimbthestair?IaddressedmyselfasonewouldspeaktoacompanionwithwhomoneisvoyagingtotheNorthPole.
’Ispoketothatselfwhohadbeenwithmeinmanytremendousadventures;thefaithfulmanwhositsoverthefirewheneverybodyhasgonetobed,stirringthecinderswithapoker;themanwhohasbeensomysteriouslyandwithsuddenaccretionsofbeingbuiltup,inabeechwood,sittingbyawillowtreeonabank,leaningoveraparapetatHamptonCourt;themanwhohascollectedhimselfinmomentsofemergencyandbangedhisspoononthetable,saying,"Iwillnotconsent."
’ThisselfnowasIleantoverthegatelookingdownoverfieldsrollinginwavesofcolourbeneathmemadenoanswer.Hethrewupnoopposition.Heattemptednophrase.Hisfistdidnotform.Iwaited.Ilistened.Nothingcame,nothing.Icriedthenwithasuddenconvictionofcompletedesertion,Nowthereisnothing.Nofinbreaksthewasteofthisimmeasurablesea.Lifehasdestroyedme.NoechocomeswhenIspeak,novariedwords.Thisismoretrulydeaththanthedeathoffriends,thanthedeathofyouth.Iamtheswathedfigureinthehairdresser’sshoptakinguponlysomuchspace.
’Thescenebeneathmewithered.
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