Хвилі

           Mercifullythesepicturesmakenoreference;theydonotnudge;theydonotpoint.Thustheyexpandmyconsciousnessofhimandbringhimbacktomedifferently.Irememberhisbeauty."Look,wherehecomes,"Isaid.

           ’LinesandcoloursalmostpersuademethatItoocanbeheroic,I,whomakephrasessoeasily,amsosoonseduced,lovewhatcomesnext,andcannotclenchmyfist,butvacillateweaklymakingphrasesaccordingtomycircumstances.Now,throughmyowninfirmityIrecoverwhathewastome:myopposite.Beingnaturallytruthful,hedidnotseethepointoftheseexaggerations,andwasborneonbyanaturalsenseofthefitting,wasindeedagreatmasteroftheartoflivingsothatheseemstohavelivedlong,andtohavespreadcalmroundhim,indifferenceonemightalmostsay,certainlytohisownadvancement,savethathehadalsogreatcompassion.Achildplaying--asummerevening--doorswillopenandshut,willkeepopeningandshutting,throughwhichIseesightsthatmakemeweep.Fortheycannotbeimparted.Henceourloneliness;henceourdesolation.Iturntothatspotinmymindandfinditempty.Myowninfirmitiesoppressme.Thereisnolongerhimtoopposethem.

           ’Behold,then,thebluemadonnastreakedwithtears.Thisismyfuneralservice.Wehavenoceremonies,onlyprivatedirgesandnoconclusions,onlyviolentsensations,eachseparate.Nothingthathasbeensaidmeetsourcase.WesitintheItalianroomattheNationalGallerypickingupfragments.IdoubtthatTitianeverfeltthisratgnaw.Painterslivelivesofmethodicalabsorption,addingstroketostroke.