Ностромо
Chapter 1
TheintroductionofapureformofChristianityintothiscontinentisadreamforayouthfulenthusiast,andIhavebeentryingtoexplaintoyouwhyHolroydatfifty-eightislikeamanonthethresholdoflife,andbetter,too.He’snotamissionary,buttheSanTomemineholdsjustthatforhim.Iassureyou,insobertruth,thathecouldnotmanagetokeepthisoutofastrictlybusinessconferenceuponthefinancesofCostaguanahehadwithSirJohnacoupleofyearsago.SirJohnmentioneditwithamazementinaletterhewrotetomehere,fromSanFrancisco,whenonhiswayhome.Uponmyword,doctor,thingsseemtobeworthnothingbywhattheyareinthemselves.Ibegintobelievethattheonlysolidthingaboutthemisthespiritualvaluewhicheveryonediscoversinhisownformofactivity——”
“Bah!”interruptedthedoctor,withoutstoppingforaninstanttheidleswingingmovementofhislegs.“Self-flattery.Foodforthatvanitywhichmakestheworldgoround.Meantime,whatdoyouthinkisgoingtohappentothetreasurefloatingaboutthegulfwiththegreatCapatazandthegreatpolitician?”
“Whyareyouuneasyaboutit,doctor?”
“Iuneasy!Andwhatthedevilisittome?Iputnospiritualvalueintomydesires,ormyopinions,ormyactions.Theyhavenotenoughvastnesstogivemeroomforself-flattery.Look,forinstance,Ishouldcertainlyhavelikedtoeasethelastmomentsofthatpoorwoman.AndIcan’t.It’simpossible.
