Ностромо
Chapter 7
Itoccurredtohimthatnoonecouldunderstandhimsowellashissister.Inthemostscepticalhearttherelurksatsuchmoments,whenthechancesofexistenceareinvolved,adesiretoleaveacorrectimpressionofthefeelings,likealightbywhichtheactionmaybeseenwhenpersonalityisgone,gonewherenolightofinvestigationcaneverreachthetruthwhicheverydeathtakesoutoftheworld.Therefore,insteadoflookingforsomethingtoeat,ortryingtosnatchanhourorsoofsleep,Decoudwasfillingthepagesofalargepocket-bookwithalettertohissister.
Intheintimacyofthatintercoursehecouldnotkeepouthisweariness,hisgreatfatigue,theclosetouchofhisbodilysensations.Hebeganagainasifheweretalkingtoher.Withalmostanillusionofherpresence,hewrotethephrase,“Iamveryhungry.”
“Ihavethefeelingofagreatsolitudearoundme,”hecontinued.“Isit,perhaps,becauseIamtheonlymanwithadefiniteideainhishead,inthecompletecollapseofeveryresolve,intention,andhopeaboutme?Butthesolitudeisalsoveryreal.Alltheengineersareout,andhavebeenfortwodays,lookingafterthepropertyoftheNationalCentralRailway,ofthatgreatCostaguanaundertakingwhichistoputmoneyintothepocketsofEnglishmen,Frenchmen,Americans,Germans,andGodknowswhoelse.Thesilenceaboutmeisominous.