Лорд Джим

Chapter 34

           Itisvaliantenoughtobeartheburden,butwhereisthecouragethatwouldcastitoff?

           ‘IsupposeImusthavefallenintoasentimentalmood;IonlyknowthatIstoodtherelongenoughforthesenseofuttersolitudetogetholdofmesocompletelythatallIhadlatelyseen,allIhadheard,andtheveryhumanspeechitself,seemedtohavepassedawayoutofexistence,livingonlyforawhilelongerinmymemory,asthoughIhadbeenthelastofmankind.Itwasastrangeandmelancholyillusion,evolvedhalf-consciouslylikeallourillusions,whichIsuspectonlytobevisionsofremoteunattainabletruth,seendimly.Thiswas,indeed,oneofthelost,forgotten,unknownplacesoftheearth;Ihadlookedunderitsobscuresurface;andIfeltthatwhento-morrowIhadleftitforever,itwouldslipoutofexistence,toliveonlyinmymemorytillImyselfpassedintooblivion.Ihavethatfeelingaboutmenow;perhapsitisthatfeelingwhichhasincitedmetotellyouthestory,totrytohandovertoyou,asitwere,itsveryexistence,itsrealitythetruthdisclosedinamomentofillusion.

           ‘Corneliusbrokeuponit.Heboltedout,vermin-like,fromthelonggrassgrowinginadepressionoftheground.Ibelievehishousewasrottingsomewherenearby,thoughI’veneverseenit,nothavingbeenfarenoughinthatdirection.Herantowardsmeuponthepath;hisfeet,shodindirtywhiteshoes,twinkledonthedarkearth;hepulledhimselfup,andbegantowhineandcringeunderatallstove-pipehat.

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