Лорд Джим

Chapter 11

           No!byheavens!Iwasnotgoingtogivethemthatsatisfaction.Theyhaddoneenough.Theymadeupastory,andbelieveditforallIknow.ButIknewthetruth,andIwouldliveitdown—alone,withmyself.Iwasn’tgoingtogiveintosuchabeastlyunfairthing.Whatdiditproveafterall?Iwasconfoundedlycutup.Sickoflife—totellyouthetruth;butwhatwouldhavebeenthegoodtoshirkit—in—in—thatway?Thatwasnottheway.Ibelieve—Ibelieveitwouldhave—itwouldhaveended—nothing.”

           ‘Hehadbeenwalkingupanddown,butwiththelastwordheturnedshortatme.

           ‘“Whatdoyoubelieve?”heaskedwithviolence.Apauseensued,andsuddenlyIfeltmyselfovercomebyaprofoundandhopelessfatigue,asthoughhisvoicehadstartledmeoutofadreamofwanderingthroughemptyspaceswhoseimmensityhadharassedmysoulandexhaustedmybody.

           ‘”...Wouldhaveendednothing,”hemutteredovermeobstinately,afteralittlewhile.“No!theproperthingwastofaceitout—alone—formyself—waitforanotherchance—findout...”’

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