Лорд Джим

Chapter 10

           Ibelievethat,inthisfirstmoment,hisheartwaswrungwithallthesuffering,thathissoulknewtheaccumulatedsavourofallthefear,allthehorror,allthedespairofeighthundredhumanbeingspounceduponinthenightbyasuddenandviolentdeath,elsewhyshouldhehavesaid,“ItseemedtomethatImustjumpoutofthataccursedboatandswimbacktoseehalfamilemoreanydistancetotheveryspot...“?Whythisimpulse?Doyouseethesignificance?Whybacktotheveryspot?Whynotdrownalongsideifhemeantdrowning?Whybacktotheveryspot,toseeasifhisimaginationhadtobesoothedbytheassurancethatallwasoverbeforedeathcouldbringrelief?Idefyanyoneofyoutoofferanotherexplanation.Itwasoneofthosebizarreandexcitingglimpsesthroughthefog.Itwasanextraordinarydisclosure.Heletitoutasthemostnaturalthingonecouldsay.Hefoughtdownthatimpulseandthenhebecameconsciousofthesilence.Hementionedthistome.Asilenceofthesea,ofthesky,mergedintooneindefiniteimmensitystillasdeatharoundthesesaved,palpitatinglives.“Youmighthaveheardapindropintheboat,”hesaidwithaqueercontractionofhislips,likeamantryingtomasterhissensibilitieswhilerelatingsomeextremelymovingfact.Asilence!Godalone,whohadwilledhimashewas,knowswhathemadeofitinhisheart.“Ididn’tthinkanyspotonearthcouldbesostill,”hesaid.“Youcouldn’tdistinguishtheseafromthesky;therewasnothingtoseeandnothingtohear.

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