Голод
Part II
IcouldstopthelittlegnawingIhadinmychestbycoughinghard,orbendingwellforwardasIwalked,butIhadnoremedyforbackandshoulders.Whateverwasthereasonthatthingswouldnotbrightenupforme?WasInotjustasmuchentitledtoliveasanyoneelse?forexample,asBooksellerPaschaorSteamAgentHennechen?HadInottwoshoulderslikeagiant,andtwostronghandstoworkwith?andhadInot,insooth,evenappliedforaplaceaswood-chopperinMöllergadeninordertoearnmydailybread?WasIlazy?HadInotappliedforsituations,attendedlectures,writtenarticles,andworkeddayandnightlikeamanpossessed?HadInotlivedlikeamiser,eatenbreadandmilkwhenIhadplenty,breadalonewhenIhadlittle,andstarvedwhenIhadnothing?DidIliveinanhotel?HadIasuiteofroomsonthefirstfloor?Why,Iamlivinginaloftoveratinker’sworkshop,aloftalreadyforsakenbyGodandmanlastwinter,becausethesnowblewin.SoIcouldnotunderstandthewholething;notabitofit.
Islouchedon,anddweltuponallthis,andtherewasnotasmuchasasparkofbitternessormaliceorenvyinmymind.
Ihaltedatapaint-shopandgazedintothewindow.Itriedtoreadthelabelsonacoupleofthetins,butitwastoodark.Vexedwithmyselfoverthisnewwhim,andexcited—almostangryatnotbeingabletomakeoutwhatthesetinsheld,—Irappedtwicesharplyonthewindowandwenton.
UpthestreetIsawapoliceman.
