Голод

Part IV

           Yousee,itisn’twithmyworkaswithotherpeople’s;Ican’tsitdownandgetacertainamountfinishedinaday.Ihavejusttowaitfortherightmoment,andnoonecantellthedayorhourwhenthespiritmaymoveoneitmusthaveitsowntime...."

           Mylandladywent,butherconfidenceinmewasevidentlymuchshaken.

           AssoonasIwasleftaloneIjumpedupandtoremyhairindespair.No,inspiteofall,therewasreallynosalvationformenosalvation!Mybrainwasbankrupt!HadIthenreallyturnedintoacompletedoltsinceIcouldnotevenaddupthepriceofapieceofDutchcheese?ButcoulditbepossibleIhadlostmysenseswhenIcouldstandandputsuchquestionstomyself?HadnotI,intothebargain,rightinthemidstofmyeffortswiththereckoning,madethelucidobservationthatmylandladywasinthefamilyway?Ihadnoreasonforknowingit,noonehadtoldmeanythingaboutit,neitherhaditoccurredtomegratuitously.Isatandsawitwithmyowneyes,andIunderstooditatonce,rightatadespairingmomentwhereIsatandaddedupsixteenths.HowcouldIexplainthistomyself?

           Iwenttothewindowandgazedout;itlookedoutintoVognmandsgade.Somechildrenwereplayingdownonthepavement;poorlydressedchildreninthemiddleofapoorstreet.Theytossedanemptybottlebetweenthemandscreamedshrilly.Aloadoffurniturerolledslowlyby;itmustbelongtosomedislodgedfamily,forcedtochangeresidencebetween"flittingtime."6Thisstruckmeatonce.

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Roboto Lora
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