Портрет Доріана Грея
Chapter 8
Crownedwithheavylotus-blossomsyouhadsatontheprowofAdrian’sbarge,gazingacrossthegreenturbidNile. YouhadleantoverthestillpoolofsomeGreekwoodland,andseeninthewater’ssilentsilverthemarvelofyourownface. Andithadallbeenwhatartshouldbe,unconscious,ideal,andremote. Oneday,afataldayIsometimesthink,Ideterminedtopaintawonderfulportraitofyouasyouactuallyare,notinthecostumeofdeadages,butinyourowndressandinyourowntime. WhetheritwastheRealismofthemethod,orthemerewonderofyourownpersonality,thusdirectlypresentedtomewithoutmistorveil,Icannottell. ButIknowthatasIworkedatit,everyflakeandfilmofcolourseemedtometorevealmysecret. Igrewafraidthatotherswouldknowofmyidolatry. Ifelt,Dorian,thatIhadtoldtoomuch,thatIhadputtoomuchofmyselfintoit. ThenitwasthatIresolvednevertoallowthepicturetobeexhibited. Youwerealittleannoyed;butthenyoudidnotrealiseallthatitmeanttome. Harry,towhomItalkedaboutit,laughedatme. ButIdidnotmindthat. Whenthepicturewasfinished,andIsatalonewithit,IfeltthatIwasright.... Well,afterafewdaysthethingleftmystudio,andassoonasIhadgotridoftheintolerablefascinationofitspresenceitseemedtomethatIhadbeenfoolishinimaginingthatIhadseenanythinginit,morethanthatyouwereextremelygood-looking,andthatIcouldpaint. EvennowIcannothelpfeelingthatitisamistaketothinkthatthepassiononefeelsincreationiseverreallyshownintheworkonecreates. Artisalwaysmoreabstractthanwefancy. Formandcolourtellusofformandcolour—thatisall. Itoftenseemstomethatartconcealstheartistfarmorecompletelythaniteverrevealshim. AndsowhenIgotthisofferfromParisIdeterminedtomakeyourportraittheprincipalthinginmyexhibition.