Епоха невинності

           Ifoundthatoutafterward;andhowyou’dmadeyourmothergowithyoutothevanderLuydens’;andhowyou’dinsistedonannouncingyourengagementattheBeaufortball,sothatImighthavetwofamiliestostandbymeinsteadofone—"Atthathebrokeintoalaugh."Justimagine,"shesaid,"howstupidandunobservantIwas!IknewnothingofallthistillGrannyblurteditoutoneday.NewYorksimplymeantpeaceandfreedomtome:itwascominghome.AndIwassohappyatbeingamongmyownpeoplethateveryoneImetseemedkindandgood,andgladtoseeme.Butfromtheverybeginning,"shecontinued,"Ifelttherewasnooneaskindasyou;noonewhogavemereasonsthatIunderstoodfordoingwhatatfirstseemedsohardand—unnecessary.Theverygoodpeopledidn’tconvinceme;Ifeltthey’dneverbeentempted.Butyouknew;youunderstood;youhadfelttheworldoutsidetuggingatonewithallitsgoldenhands—andyetyouhatedthethingsitasksofone;youhatedhappinessboughtbydisloyaltyandcrueltyandindifference.ThatwaswhatI’dneverknownbefore—andit’sbetterthananythingI’veknown."Shespokeinalowevenvoice,withouttearsorvisibleagitation;andeachword,asitdroppedfromher,fellintohisbreastlikeburninglead.Hesatbowedover,hisheadbetweenhishands,staringatthehearthrug,andatthetipofthesatinshoethatshowedunderherdress.Suddenlyhekneltdownandkissedtheshoe.Shebentoverhim,layingherhandsonhisshoulders,andlookingathimwitheyessodeepthatheremainedmotionlessunderhergaze.