Мідлмарч

Chapter 54

           Thepitywhichhadbeentherestrainingcompellingmotiveinherlifewithhimstillclungabouthisimage,evenwhilesheremonstratedwithhiminindignantthoughtandtoldhimthathewasunjust.Onelittleactofhersmayperhapsbesmiledatassuperstitious.TheSynopticalTabulationfortheuseofMrs.Casaubon,shecarefullyenclosedandsealed,writingwithintheenvelope,"Icouldnotuseit.DoyounotseenowthatIcouldnotsubmitmysoultoyours,byworkinghopelesslyatwhatIhavenobeliefinDorothea?"Thenshedepositedthepaperinherowndesk.

           ThatsilentcolloquywasperhapsonlythemoreearnestbecauseunderneathandthroughitalltherewasalwaysthedeeplongingwhichhadreallydeterminedhertocometoLowick.ThelongingwastoseeWillLadislaw.Shedidnotknowanygoodthatcouldcomeoftheirmeeting:shewashelpless;herhandshadbeentiedfrommakinguptohimforanyunfairnessinhislot.Buthersoulthirstedtoseehim.Howcoulditbeotherwise?Ifaprincessinthedaysofenchantmenthadseenafour-footedcreaturefromamongthosewhichliveinherdscometoheronceandagainwithahumangazewhichresteduponherwithchoiceandbeseeching,whatwouldshethinkofinherjourneying,whatwouldshelookforwhentheherdspassedher?Surelyforthegazewhichhadfoundher,andwhichshewouldknowagain.Lifewouldbenobetterthancandle-lighttinselanddaylightrubbishifourspiritswerenottouchedbywhathasbeen,toissuesoflongingandconstancy.

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