Мідлмарч

Chapter 70

           

           Thebankerfeltthathehaddonesomethingtonullifyonecauseofuneasiness,andyethewasscarcelytheeasier.HedidnotmeasurethequantityofdiseasedmotivewhichhadmadehimwishforLydgate’sgood-will,butthequantitywasnonethelessactivelythere,likeanirritatingagentinhisblood.Amanvows,andyetwillnoteastawaythemeansofbreakinghisvow.Isitthathedistinctlymeanstobreakit?Notatall;butthedesireswhichtendtobreakitareatworkinhimdimly,andmaketheirwayintohisimagination,andrelaxhismusclesintheverymomentswhenheistellinghimselfoveragainthereasonsforhisvow.Raffles,recoveringquickly,returningtothefreeuseofhisodiouspowershowcouldBulstrodewishforthat?Rafflesdeadwastheimagethatbroughtrelease,andindirectlyheprayedforthatwayofrelease,beseechingthat,ifitwerepossible,therestofhisdaysherebelowmightbefreedfromthethreatofanignominywhichwouldbreakhimutterlyasaninstrumentofGod’sservice.Lydgate’sopinionwasnotonthesideofpromisethatthisprayerwouldbefulfilled;andasthedayadvanced,Bulstrodefelthimselfgettingirritatedatthepersistentlifeinthisman,whomhewouldfainhaveseensinkingintothesilenceofdeathimperiouswillstirredmurderousimpulsestowardsthisbrutelife,overwhichwill,byitself,hadnopower.Hesaidinwardlythathewasgettingtoomuchworn;hewouldnotsitupwiththepatientto-night,butleavehimtoMrs.Abel,who,ifnecessary,couldcallherhusband.

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