Мідлмарч

Chapter 67

           Hedeferredtheintentionfromdaytoday,hishabitofactingonhisconclusionsbeingmadeinfirmbyhisrepugnancetoeverypossibleconclusionanditsconsequentact.HesawMr.Bulstrodeoften,buthedidnottrytouseanyoccasionforhisprivatepurpose.Atonemomenthethought,"Iwillwritealetter:Ipreferthattoanycircuitoustalk;"atanotherhethought,"No;ifIweretalkingtohim,Icouldmakearetreatbeforeanysignsofdisinclination."

           Stillthedayspassedandnoletterwaswritten,nospecialinterviewsought.InhisshrinkingfromthehumiliationofadependentattitudetowardsBulstrode,hebegantofamiliarizehisimaginationwithanotherstepevenmoreunlikehisrememberedself.HebeganspontaneouslytoconsiderwhetheritwouldbepossibletocarryoutthatpuerilenotionofRosamond’swhichhadoftenmadehimangry,namely,thattheyshouldquitMiddlemarchwithoutseeinganythingbeyondthatpreface.Thequestioncame"Wouldanymanbuythepracticeofmeevennow,foraslittleasitisworth?Thenthesalemighthappenasanecessarypreparationforgoingaway."

           Butagainsthistakingthisstep,whichhestillfelttobeacontemptiblerelinquishmentofpresentwork,aguiltyturningasidefromwhatwasarealandmightbeawideningchannelforworthyactivity,tostartagainwithoutanyjustifieddestination,therewasthisobstacle,thatthepurchaser,ifprocurableatall,mightnotbequicklyforthcoming.

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