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The Man On Putney Hill
Inthesilenceofthenight,withthatsenseofthenearnessofGodthatsometimescomesintothestillnessandthedarkness,Istoodmytrial,myonlytrial,forthatmomentofwrathandfear. IretracedeverystepofourconversationfromthemomentwhenIhadfoundhimcrouchingbesideme,heedlessofmythirst,andpointingtothefireandsmokethatstreamedupfromtheruinsofWeybridge. Wehadbeenincapableofco-operation—grimchancehadtakennoheedofthat. HadIforeseen,IshouldhavelefthimatHalliford. ButIdidnotforesee;andcrimeistoforeseeanddo. AndIsetthisdownasIhavesetallthisstorydown,asitwas. Therewerenowitnesses—allthesethingsImighthaveconcealed. ButIsetitdown,andthereadermustformhisjudgmentashewill.
Andwhen,byaneffort,Ihadsetasidethatpictureofaprostratebody,IfacedtheproblemoftheMartiansandthefateofmywife. FortheformerIhadnodata;Icouldimagineahundredthings,andso,unhappily,Icouldforthelatter. Andsuddenlythatnightbecameterrible. Ifoundmyselfsittingupinbed,staringatthedark. IfoundmyselfprayingthattheHeat-Raymighthavesuddenlyandpainlesslystruckheroutofbeing. SincethenightofmyreturnfromLeatherheadIhadnotprayed. Ihadutteredprayers,fetishprayers,hadprayedasheathensmuttercharmswhenIwasinextremity; butnowIprayedindeed,pleadingsteadfastlyandsanely,facetofacewiththedarknessofGod. Strangenight! Strangestinthis,thatsosoonasdawnhadcome,I,whohadtalkedwithGod,creptoutofthehouselikearatleavingitshidingplace—acreaturescarcelylarger,aninferioranimal,athingthatforanypassingwhimofourmastersmightbehuntedandkilled. PerhapstheyalsoprayedconfidentlytoGod. Surely,ifwehavelearnednothingelse,thiswarhastaughtuspity—pityforthosewitlesssoulsthatsufferourdominion.