Портрет художника в юності
Chapter 5
HefeltwithasmartofdejectionthatthemantowhomhewasspeakingwasacountrymanofBenJonson.Hethought:
—Thelanguageinwhichwearespeakingishisbeforeitismine.HowdifferentarethewordsHOME,CHRIST,ALE,MASTER,onhislipsandonmine!Icannotspeakorwritethesewordswithoutunrestofspirit.Hislanguage,sofamiliarandsoforeign,willalwaysbeformeanacquiredspeech.Ihavenotmadeoraccepteditswords.Myvoiceholdsthematbay.Mysoulfretsintheshadowofhislanguage.
—Andtodistinguishbetweenthebeautifulandthesublime,thedeanadded,todistinguishbetweenmoralbeautyandmaterialbeauty.Andtoinquirewhatkindofbeautyispropertoeachofthevariousarts.Thesearesomeinterestingpointswemighttakeup.
Stephen,disheartenedsuddenlybythedean’sfirm,drytone,wassilent;andthroughthesilenceadistantnoiseofmanybootsandconfusedvoicescameupthestaircase.
—Inpursuingthesespeculations,saidthedeanconclusively,thereis,however,thedangerofperishingofinanition.Firstyoumusttakeyourdegree.Setthatbeforeyouasyourfirstaim.Then,littlebylittle,youwillseeyourway.Imeanineverysense,yourwayinlifeandinthinking.Itmaybeuphillpedallingatfirst.TakeMrMoonan.Hewasalongtimebeforehegottothetop.Buthegotthere.
—Imaynothavehistalent,saidStephenquietly.
—Youneverknow,saidthedeanbrightly.
