Портрет художника в юності
Chapter 4
Theshadow,then,ofthelifeofthecollegepassedgravelyoverhisconsciousness.Itwasagraveandorderedandpassionlesslifethatawaitedhim,alifewithoutmaterialcares.Hewonderedhowhewouldpassthefirstnightinthenovitiateandwithwhatdismayhewouldwakethefirstmorninginthedormitory.ThetroublingodourofthelongcorridorsofClongowescamebacktohimandheheardthediscreetmurmuroftheburninggasflames.Atoncefromeverypartofhisbeingunrestbegantoirradiate.Afeverishquickeningofhispulsesfollowed,andadinofmeaninglesswordsdrovehisreasonedthoughtshitherandthitherconfusedly.HislungsdilatedandsankasifhewereinhalingawarmmoistunsustainingairandhesmeltagainthemoistwarmairwhichhunginthebathinClongowesabovethesluggishturf-colouredwater.
Someinstinct,wakingatthesememories,strongerthaneducationorpiety,quickenedwithinhimateverynearapproachtothatlife,aninstinctsubtleandhostile,andarmedhimagainstacquiescence.Thechillandorderoftheliferepelledhim.Hesawhimselfrisinginthecoldofthemorningandfilingdownwiththeotherstoearlymassandtryingvainlytostrugglewithhisprayersagainstthefaintingsicknessofhisstomach.Hesawhimselfsittingatdinnerwiththecommunityofacollege.
