Портрет художника в юності
Chapter 3
Thesoot-coatedpacketofpictureswhichhehadhiddenintheflueofthefireplaceandinthepresenceofwhoseshamelessorbashfulwantonnesshelayforhourssinningInthoughtanddeed;hismonstrousdreams,peopledbyape-likecreaturesandbyharlotswithgleamingjeweleyes;thefoullonglettershehadwritteninthejoyofguiltyconfessionandcarriedsecretlyfordaysanddaysonlytothrowthemundercoverofnightamongthegrassinthecornerofafieldorbeneathsomehingelessdoorinsomenicheinthehedgeswhereagirlmightcomeuponthemasshewalkedbyandreadthemsecretly.Mad!Mad!Wasitpossiblehehaddonethesethings?Acoldsweatbrokeoutuponhisforeheadasthefoulmemoriescondensedwithinhisbrain.
Whentheagonyofshamehadpassedfromhimhetriedtoraisehissoulfromitsabjectpowerlessness.GodandtheBlessedVirginweretoofarfromhim:GodwastoogreatandsternandtheBlessedVirgintoopureandholy.ButheimaginedthathestoodnearEmmainawidelandand,humblyandintears,bentandkissedtheelbowofhersleeve.
Inthewidelandunderatenderlucideveningsky,aclouddriftingwestwardamidapalegreenseaofheaven,theystoodtogether,childrenthathaderred.TheirerrorhadoffendeddeeplyGod’smajestythoughitwastheerroroftwochildren;butithadnotoffendedherwhosebeautyISNOTLIKEEARTHLYBEAUTY,DANGEROUSTOLOOKUPON,BUTLIKETHEMORNINGSTARWHICH.ISITSEMBLEM,BRIGHTANDMUSICAL.
